Identity 101?

Jen-couver,
I am seriously avoiding doing school work these days. To the point where I think I am putting my entire academic career in peril. I just don’t know where my willpower has gone. I think a big part of it is a certain course with a certain text book that I just want to punch in the mouth. It is sociology of youth, and basically the entire text is centered around a critical perspective that emerging adults are being denied a full and meaningful existence because we are A) denied our right to fully be in the workforce and therefore have economic power, and B) socialized to shape our identity through the consumption of products.

It goes on to outline how we are force fed these “identity packages” that we [literally] buy into. (i.e. a “punk” a “prep” a “university student” and whatever it is girls from St. Albert usually turn out as) It argues that we choose who we are and what we do from a small selection of already prepared personas. (like a multiple choice question, yay!) This way, it SEEMS as if we have the freedom to choose who we are, what we do, and that we participate in a democratic and just society. But really, we are just free to consume and act in ways that don’t challenge the economic elite, [those bastards eh?] It goes on to talk about how through carefully manipulated ideologies, the “youth” [youth meaning 15 to late twenties] of today are taught not only to accept their subordination but actually to be unable to recognize it. (i.e. we feel so “free” to find ourselves in our twenties and not have responsibilities when actually we are limiting our potential and self-actualization by politically disengaging ourselves and partying it up. Whoop! Whoop!) Kind of like, the best way to keep a slave’s servitude is have them love their servitude. So needless to say they are pretty down with Marx and Orwell’s 1984 and all that optimistic shtuff. It says that we are being distracted by meaningless short term goals such as appearance, cultural capital, and the quest for “cool.” Which makes sense in a way since I can regurgitate facts about Britney Spears off hand but can’t remember what I studied an hour ago and I often think I could probably have a 4.0 and cure cancer simultaneously if I spent less time thinking about superficial appearance stuff.

I guess the reason I don’t like reading it, is half the time I really recognize myself in the pages of that book and that is scary. The people in my class are also just such superior intellectual snobs the way they talk about how “youth are obsessed with clothes and consumerism” meanwhile they are rocking seven jeans and Gucci purses. The book also throws some ridonqulous stat at us about how in the last 50 years we have switched our priorities from having meaningful and happy lives to succeeding economically. Now that shocked the hell out of me because I never considered that those two things weren't one in the same.

The other reason I don’t like it is because it talks about how we are “throwing our young lives away” with all the fun we are having. [Seriously, it says that.] A very smart and handsome person once proposed a theory to me that retirement should be saved for the young. I am really starting to agree. Am I seriously paying some oppressive [and bureaucratic and consumeristic] institution $500 for this course to tell me that I am having too much fun and missing out on my life opportunities?

I think some of my best moments last summer were just chillin’ in the fishbowl and having meaningless fun and making stupid jokes or lying in bed and creeping Jes out. I am starting to realize that my favorite memories are just those little “laugh-out-loud moments” you have with the people in your life. Like, walking to school and laughing about a funny story or drinking wine and telling secrets in my bathroom with a girlfriend while we get ready for the bar. SOoooo it’s like the getting-ready part is more sincere than the actual bar part. Kind of like how the road trip is more fun than actually getting there… Wowzers, I think that I just had an epiphany ha-ha. I think maybe, youth is like a road trip to getting to who u are. This is an unfortunate analogy for me because I am almost positive that I’m on a highway to hell. But regardless, they are our own road trips and we can do whatever the eff we want with them. And my road trip is going to be sweet..and sexy...and in a hot-boxed hippy van. HaHa.

It also doesn’t really help matters that I slunk into class late and hungover this morning in the middle of a lecture about how women are ‘tricked’ into thinking they can empower themselves through sex but they are really allowing themselves to fall into the “trap of femininity.” The slide on the power point when I walked in was honest to god about the rising rates of promiscuous women and how 75% of women no longer define oral sex as actual sex....of course my whackjob prof somehow managed to summarize the downfall of modern women in western culture based on how we give head.

Well, those are my deep and philosophical thoughts for the week to measure up against yours. Your newmanesque musings were less selfish and much more clearly articulated than mine. Haha, I guess some things never change hey? I’m so glad you’re the level headed half of our friendship…TEAMWORK YA!
- Lin-chuck