Happy Pockets & The Man Taste

Dearest Hottata
It's Official: Halloween is the new Christmas!
I don't know if you know this about me, but i like dressing up in costumes. and i find people are more interesting when they are also dressed in costume. i mean really, who are you going to have more to talk about with; boring University of Abercrombie guy or robot guy who has spray painted himself from head to toe silver? call me crazy..but i go for the spray paint every time.

Which leads me to Saturday Night: What a Ridonqulous Fun night! its been a while since i had a night of good wholesome fun. it was exactly what they doctor ordered. [well, actually the opposite of what they actual doctor ordered because my sickness has progressed from the "hurts to breathe" level to the "hurts to blink" level] but my health aside, Saturday night was exactly what the Doctor ordered. I think the main reason
I’m so happy the night turned out so fun was because by mid-day things were not looking promising. We had [of course] left our costume planning to 3:00 pm that day. Our crew drove by the Village of Value on Whyte and much to our dismay saw a disgusting huge crowd of people swarming around in it. All those idiots had left their costume buying to the last minute! I don't really like the village that much on a good day, let alone with a bunch of people rubbing up around me so we vetoed that option. Things were tense, I was feeling sick and Jenny and Dave were having a slight lover’s quarrel. The only logical solution to our probs was to hit up Bonnie Doon mall. WOWZERS! What can i say about Bonnie Doon Mall? i think i could write an entire sociological dissertation on the variety of people that had decided to spend their Saturday afternoon there. First of all, there were tons of old people. old people are shifty cause you never really know what they’re gonna pull, they pretend their frail and confused but mostly they’re just evil. So, I was already a little on edge. I also witnessed a pretty intense domestic dispute and saw a guy get arrested for shoplifting from Carlton Cards…like seriously buddy…Show Her You Care by Giving Her a Collect Call from Flathead County Prison? I think she would’ve been satisfied with a home-made card. You know, something from the heart. Anyways, I am almost positive it is the Whyte Trash Vortex of Edmonton. This was lucky for us because we were on a mission to deck ourselves out as Glam-Rawkers. After a quick trip to Stitches and a stop-in at San Francisco we were ready to go!

I went home feeling like shit but after half a bottle of cough syrup and a red bull with vodka later things were looking way up. “The Band” met up @ Dave’s to pre-game and we were off to see Sloan! It was still the cover band The Yoko-whatever the Eff their name is so we bought some of their buttons and went to RATT. It was a private function but when you’re a Rock Star “normal people” rules don’t apply to you. We made friends fast. By then we had decided on our Band Name: “Happy Pockets & The Man Taste.” (My Glam-Name was Lazer.) I guess this function was for the University of Alberta Faculty of Forestry students only. So, they were all basically hippies and lumberjacks. They are REALLY lucky we crashed their party because we were really, really fun. (at least that’s what we have all collectively agreed upon) I ended up knowing one of the bartenders so shots were quickly and repeatedly dispensed. It was back down to Dinwoodie to watch Sloan rock out and rock out they did…as we were leaving this random annoying guy just decided to fight us for no reason. (I think he was racist!) Lazer and Ace (aka Jenny and I) managed to intervene before any of the guys smudged their eyeliner or ripped their leather pants. It was back up to RATT where our band was announced over the loud speaker upon arrival. How I do love my fame, even if it only lasted 15 minutes. I met some really kindred spirits that night in the form of Bender from Futurama, He-Man, Princess Jillian, and the Ambiguously Gay duo. After last call we decided it was time for home, unfortunately the sudden snowfall that had fallen over Edmonton was causing a huge cab shortage so we were freezing cold and screwed for a ride. I believe this is about the point in the night when I made (yet another) long distance drunken phone call to you. Texts were sent, messages left, I’m actually still doing damage control. Dale eventually flagged us down a van-cab (we are pretty sure the cabby had confused him in his wig for a hooker) and we got home. Dave had graciously given up his bed for Jenny and I and he hit the couch. Unfortunately for Jenny (but lucky for me) in her drunken state she had not quite figured this out and thought I was Dave all night. I thought the level of cuddling was a little odd but I decided to roll with it haha. And this concludes another Halloween in the life of Linny. I hope all is well in Vancouver, I look forward to hearing of your adventures with Kelly Kat.
Love Frittata

the fine print

so, recently i have been semi- to seriously criticized about some of the content on jenny and i's blog. im not calling out the people who did it or anything like that. i sincerely hope no one feels offended by what i have said or am about to say, or say in the future. i just feel i have to get this off my chest or else thesimplelife will be kinda tainted for me....like salmonella in my spinach or sumthin ickily along those lines.

so, i guess here is a new simplelifecanmore rule: u cant get mad at what we say, so if u think u might, please dont read it. the end. [how wickedly authoritarian of me eh?] the comments have just started a train of thought that i have been thinking...and now i think my thoughts should be shared on the blog so you can read what im thinking, think about it yourself, and then tell me what you thought. wow what a novel concept these blogs are. :)

so, that was alot of thinking. i might have to take a bit of a break. i am, after all, only in Arts.

so, basically the blog was described as "morally repulsive." a term i now gleefully try to work into my everyday conversations as much as possible. i guess the underlying thought was I, (ginny linny) had become morally repulsive because our blog must be an accurate and whole depiction who i am. Now, the goal of this bloggedy is not to debate whether or not i am, in fact, immoral and whatnot. that's a whole 'nother hilarious story that i really hope one day jenny writes a film about. [working title: u hit the rightspot, i said the wrong name?!] the heart of the matter is.....ummm hang on i know this one, truth? no. mediation? no. identity? no. entertainment? maybe....ok, so it looks like i am not sure what the heart of the matter is yet. but im gonna try to ramble on here and see if we can shake out at least a topic sentence or two, at best a thesis.

so, i like our blog. i think it is funny. i think jenny and i are funny. i think the people that read it and comment are funny. Funny, funny, everybody's funny. so when i am 5 hours deep into studying or something equally lame and bored out of my mind, i like to write stuff that makes me laugh...and read stuff that makes me smile. i could see how a random stranger (let's call him Gerald) might read our blog and come to the conclusion that perhaps i am...oh i dunno, kinda riskankulous. and that really isn't sumthing that keeps me up at night. (but i am, however, ok with it keeping Gerald up at night! haha)


so, i share this blog with a selected audience of people i trust, people who hopefully are going to see what i write for what it is; fun and entertaining. so it's kinda a bummer when the people i trust start to question who i am based on what is said here. the fact that i unconsciously just described the people who read this as an "audience" portrays that perhaps we are theoretically "actresses" [which is great, i knew my bedroom skills from my ex-bf would eventually come in handy] The blog format seems to be misleading ppl into thinking that it's a completely accurate depiciton of the truth and who I am.

So, Gerald et. al, please remember it is, after all, a form of media. Fox news is also a form of media and i think we all know that it doesnt always depict reality...so i think that sums up the authenticity of media. Lets just Think about the term "Mediation"...the process of something/one inserting itself between an event and someone percieving that event. It may facilitate that perception but it is always guiding and constraining it. [that, by the way, i remembered from music 103...damn if only all my profs were hot i would be an A++ student] so when we watch TV, read the news, watch a video, or hear a story we are being mediated...sometimes even multimediated...[ok, ok i just made that word up. but i feel i can get away with it cause i've got my "smart hat" on] almost all the info we get now-a-days is at least a little bit distorted. whether it's meant to be or not. anything subjective is well...subjective. and that includes our blog.

so, the moral of the story is....stop taking life so seriously! stop taking me so seriously! so what if i want to write self-deprecating entries about myself? i hope to god i dont wake up one day and realize i have become one of those people who take themselves too seriously. im not saying that what i say i do on this blog is a lie, or the thoughts i have are made up. they are definately not. they are tongue in cheek messages that i write to my simple-life partner Ms. Half-Pint Siddle. i guess the problem some people had is they seem to be a little more "something-else-in cheek." Jenny and i have some pretty ridonkulous conversations and i guess we write our blog the way we like to talk to each other: dirrty & uncensored. (aka honestly & freely?)

so, perhaps my thesis is...that although this blog only conveys one little part of my fantasmical whole, i am not going to apologize for it. and i didnt think i'd have to for anyone that i am aware of reading this so....dont judge me. OK Gerald? or actually do judge me...i welcome any four to five letter words u can come up with. just dont expect me to change for it.
ps. self respect is overrated
pps. sorry that this was kind of a downer. i know most of u could care less and really just read this whole thing in hopes that there would be a picture of a shark or sexy sandy at the end. haha.

smells like purple...

Likwid Learning

J-Rawk is in da' house,
So, im not sure if i have mentioned this to you or not, but throughout this semester i have been upping my friday factor by adding a li'l sumthin sumthin in my coffee in the mornings. Now, up untill today i have been doing it kind of as a way to pump myself up for the evening ahead of me...a little prelude to how my night will go, if you will. and make no mistake, i've been, as JT would say, lovin it. recently though i realized, "damn i love friday mornings"...and u know what? i think its cause of the booze! yep u heard me, school is more fun when your drunk. i dont know why this surprises me or why it took me so long to figure out. i had already realized and fully supported the notion that the bar, movies, family events, walks, sporting events, dinner, afternoons, work, and holidays are much more enjoyable when half-cut. so why the hell should i not apply this "life strategy" to the place where i spend most my time these days: the library! yep, shandra and i bought a bottle of wine and plan to meet in sub @ about 5 tonight....we will see where the night takes us. i think this will be the best study night ever, GO ON WITH THE CHLORYPHYL!

love, linny "c's get degrees" smitty

Exhibit A:

Smid vs. Smid

J-Rawk. Yes, Oilers vs. Flames was all i could dream of and More. i tried really hard to convince myself that i cared about the midterm i wrote for my evening class right before the game but all i could think about the whole way through was who i thought the starting line-up would be. Basically in the exam my train of thought went a li'l like this:

"John Locke made an integral impact on the current political atmosphere of the United States of America through his views of the seperation of Church and State which was implemented by Jefferson in the--hmm that will be sweet if winchester plays on the first or second line this season. ---- The 2 ideological differences between official religion and unofficial---i hope torres takes a couple hard runs at kippy ----religion is the doctrine of official religion that is strictly organized and maintained by various religious experts --- holy shit it will be weird not to see georgey on the ice-- as well and the institutional organization and distributition of autonomy within that religion."

that's pretty much what my brain sounded like the entire time i wrote it untill i finally admitted to myself there was no way i could focus and finished my essay 20 mins early. I literally sprinted down Hub Mall to the LRT station which was shockingly, a 50/50 split of flames and oilers jerseys...i knew there was a reason that i thought every guy @ UofA was a douche. once i got on the train though the party began. pretty much as soon as i sat down i had a dude in an oilers jersey offer to pour some liquor from his flask into the RockStar i was drinking....as im sure you know, normally i would've been all over that [the drink, not the guy jackass] but somewhere in the back of my mind a little voice yelling the word "ROOFIES" managed to be heard over the din of the Oiler's chants and i politely declined. it's been awhile since my conscience or common sense contacted me. i was a little relieved to realize they are still kickin' around. HaHa. i got to the game and was happily surprised to realize that [A] i can't read tickets very well and [B] i was centre ice, 8th row rather than stuck in a stuffy box with suits munching on popcorn. The crowd around me was still pretty corporate but there were a couple of rowdies behind the flames penalty box that were whispering sweet nothings through the glass at Iggy while he served his time. Also, a super drunk, old guy with a beer belly took his shirt off and threw his bandanna on the ice when oilers scored their third goal...picture a Randy-sized Cheeseburger gut. it was Awe-shom!

So, although the game was ridonqulous fun it made me realize something...that playoff game i went to last summer was something special. i don't think a game will, personally for me, ever be that momentous or exciting. I think there are certain life events I have had [and every person has] that will never quite have the same impact or significance on me even if I do attempt to recreate them.

Let’s take a look back in time shall we:
My first gold medal @ skiing, the first time I got ejected from a soccer game, the first time I got drunk as fuck, my first kiss, the first time I smoked up (simpson hill baby,) my first high school dance, losing the big V, the first men’s washroom I got kicked out of [and no, the last two do NOT go hand in hand,] my first school ski trip, my first concert, the first time i realized that i had become one of "those people" who like Emo, my first summer away from home, the first time i discovered my alter-ego "Ginny-Linny," The first time i went to the Back-Alley, the first time I said the word ridonqulous…etc. etc.

but honestly and truly, that game has got to be in the top 7.5 significant moments of my life. It was just so fucking collectively exciting for all of us in the crowd. And for that, I think I have to officially, on our blog, to be commemorated on the Internet forever, thank-you for switching that shift for me. You are da’ shizzo. Well, it’s about time I go, I will leave our dedicated blog viewers with one final thought; how hard do you think it would be for Cory to murder Ladislav Smid and secretly assume his identity? Observe exhibit A:
picvspic:

I Aint Sayin She's a Gold Digga

Linny,

You probably won't get this before the big game tonight...I won't lie I'm a little jealous. Not just about the game, but the company as well. There you go dissin the suits again Linny, you are so punk rock. I am reminded of a phone call I got from you last April inquiring as to whether or not I thought a wife beater would be considered "business casual." This remains one the largest differences between us, you being all Aidan to my Mr. Big (the guys are probably going to pretend they don't get this reference, but I have a feeling they watch sex and the city reruns every Wednesday night behind closed doors -- in fact, I once found the box-set of season 3 in Nooman's bedroom.) We make a great team.

Did you really miss hockey that much Linny? Cause seriously, it just ended. I still have the stain on my Oiler jersey from when I knocked over my rye and ginger in a fit of rage when Conklin made his fuck up pass in game one. I am, however, very excited about this back to back Battle of Alberta action over the next few nights. I somehow doubt Fernando is going to be back to his Superhuman stength for the first couple months, which makes the addition of Lupul so crucial as a first line RW. (not to mention some much needed eye-candy for the team - minus the eyebrows). Clearly I'm not around the Edmonton media for the season, but was I the only one who was surprised about Lowe sending Shremp down to the farm? 4 points in 5 games in the exhibition? Not too shabby. Perhaps, being so young, they want to develop him more before he faces the hype, but they didn't seem to take the same apporach with Smid (who, by the way, I have convinced myself is Cory's little Czech cousin). As if E-Town's not going to be looking for the next Chris Pronger there. Well enough about that, we have 82 more games of hockey talk to put up with. I'm sure there will soon be a blog from me ranting about the fascist propganda out here and why I'm slowly beginning to loathe the Vancouer Canucks.

While we're on the topic, I just got off a very disturbing phonecall with a certain Tappers. I overheard him telling NMZ that he was going to try and find a Flames jersey to wear tonight. Needless to say, I flipped. Game one of the regular season, battle of Alberta, he wants to put on a fucking flames jersey. He tried to justify this by stating "it would be fun for rivalries sake." I think that's when I told him that if I ever saw him wearing a Flames jersey I would probably break up with him. Perhaps that was a little harsh - he is a sensitive guy. Incredibly cute, but sensitive. But am I wrong here? Maybe...just maybe....if he was born and bred Calgarian and he just didn't know any better - I might let it slip, I mean how else can I justify being friends with Jeff Daniels? But to be from E-town, especially growing up there in the '80s, and to put on a flames jersey when they're actually playing Edmonton? I can't respect that. And really, doesn't it all come down to respect in the end? Give me your thoughts (and Wayne, you know I'm talking to you).

Whew.....that feels better.

Alright, I got a test tomorrow too -- on formatting. Yes, actually having to know how many spaces a script should have after an elipses, or what weight of paper should be used in a screenplay. Call me later, I'll be looking for procrastination.

Peace Out
Ninja Kitty

Hockey Season's Back in Black! [Blue?]

Bloggedy Blog, just thought u should know that im goin' to Oilers vs. Flames tomorrow...in da' box seats, with all the suits. Suits, Suits, i hate suits but will withstand them for my beloved OIL. god i cant believe how much i missed hockey season. i welcome it back with open...arms. let the boozing commence! [when did it stop?!]i think the sports fans of edmonton should be given government allowances so we can afford hockey season...like the prosperity cheques but they will be called 'playoff cheques.' i am not sure if i should sport the tunic or if that is sacred to playoffs...maybe the cape, maybe just the shirt. SHiRts off? hmmm refer back to suits. gtg. study...study, study, midterm tomorrow. Bloggedy Blog.

ps. check out the mystery dude coppin' a feel of the fine young female fan behind gretz.

Ketchup

The Lovely Linny

Alright, I realize that, through no fault BUT my own, I am becoming more of a cameo appearance than an active participant in our blog. But i think we're both okay with that....we all know that you are the one who enjoys basking in the limelight and I am merely the wind beneath your wings -- (feel free to write a song about it.) Perhaps if the profs at my school didn't decide to give us writing assignments in nine different classes every week I might spend more of my spare time writing here. That's a poor excuse actually cause currently I've just been using my free time to watch 90210 re-runs on TV Tropolis. Whoa, there Steve Sanders goes flashing those pearly whites again. He's always up to something outright zany.

Rat scallion...rapscallion... You guys are funny.

Lindsey, not since you made that tunic out of Oiler flags last May have I see you work so hard at something as you did a couple days ago by doing all that shark research. (as an aside, see comment #3 of the shark vs dolphin blog) I had no idea it meant so much to you to prove nooman wrong... heh heh

It's fun to read between the lines. That's what I'm learning at school.

School's going really well actually....there are 30 of us being raked through some literary Darwinian experiment this first term judging by the amount of work they're giving us...I think they're secretly hoping to cut the number of people in our class by a quarter in the next couple weeks. They might just do it. I'm having too much fun though, I feel like I've gained about a dozen new brothers in the process. We spend a lot of time in small, confined classrooms together. We were all supposed to go to the oil game last night at GM place but unfortunately I pulled the shoot because I spent my hockey ticket money the night before buying a bottle of rye for a guy for agreeing to drive me to and from the airport next month. In hindsight I should have pissed in it.

But I shall see you then, and damn are we gonna look good at that party. Oddly enough, there are not that many blondes out here in Vancouver. You would think that that would be heaven for a young blonde hussy like myself, but really I think the general population here has an underground pact to ostracize us. No wonder I hang out so much with the swede. They say blondes are going extinct in next two centuries so we should really stick to our own. It's a good thing Tappers is naturally blonde....or so he tells me. You don't think that's a lie to get in my pants, do you?

It was really good talking to you the other day, I do miss our drunken quality time. And I'm glad we got that Hugh Heffner bath robe/smoking jacket confusion straightened out.

Take Care,

Hottata