Buckley's vs Semen

So after numerous requests and incessant nagging (and by numerous I mean two), I have been asked to share my side of the story from the Simple Life Canmore. Let's face it, what is Paris without her Nicole? Even though Linny and I have adamantly stated that we will NOT appear live together on this blog, it seems I am still contractually bound to make my individual presence known....and so it begins...

It is now day 13 of me carrying this ridonkulous head and sinus coughing cold which I mysteriously contracted while visiting Montana...it quite possibly could be SARS, we're looking into it. And seriously, how desperate am I swigging cough medicine whose consitency most closely resembles jizz and yet somehow manages to taste worse. Luckily, I've pawned off the sickness to nearly all of my fellow co-workers to ensure that I need not suffer alone. Oddly enough, it seems that the only three who can't seem to shake it are myself, Linny, and our other roommate Jessica J-Core. We basically sit around our living room at night hacking up our ovaries and braiding each other's hair - it pretty pathetic. Some have suggested that we stop making out with each other before bedtime in order to stop the spreading cycle, but the way I look at it, my boyfriend and I haven't stopped making out and he hasn't gotten sick, so clearly it's not the exchange of oral fluids that is the problem. If anyone has some old fashioned cold remedies they would like to share, by all means, we would love to hear them.

Currently Linny and J-Core are sweating out their impurities by hiking up to a backcountry lodge in Banff. I did this same hike about a week ago with Ryan and let me tell you, it's pretty much the perfect trail for a city-kid-first-time-hiker like him. After the steady 13km trek in (which we rocked), we were greeted by our chef, Pierre. Immediately we began snacking on his pastries and pate at the afternoon tea. Tea was followed by having sex in a log cabin, eating lemon salmon with homemade ceasar salad over a bottle of red wine, having sex in a log cabin, sleeping, eating quiche and sausages, morning sex, and then making sandwiches for the hike out. God I love sandwiches. I digress... And of course I'm including the gratuitious sex scenes for the sole purpose making Linny and J-Core uncomfortable upon their return in the hopes that they will have had the same cabin.

So while Linny and J-Core are on their own little romantic getaway, I'm heading up to Edmonton for my best friend's wedding. She met her fiance in high school...so basically for the entire 8 years that the two of us have been adults, we have never had the opportunity to walk into a bar together single at the same time. I guess we'll just have to hold off on that dream......like till we're 90. Oh, the damage we could have done. It pains me really, which is why I am so fortunate to have a friend like Linny. God knows no guy in his right mind is going to touch her with a ten foot pole...heh heh.

Anyways, I gotsta go to bed now. I just wanted to give one last shout out to Eugene, the abandoned stray cat that has decided to live outside our front door. Eugene caught his first mouse of the summer yesterday and proudly pounced over to show the half eaten rodent to all of us as we ate dinner on the front picnic tables. It was like a mini-episode of the discovery channel right in our front yard. I should have been totally grossed out by the event, but really, the more mice he scarfs down, the fewer I am gonna find in our kitchen in a few weeks. Keep it up Kitty!

Happy Canada Day Everyone,
Jenny

One Man Band & Evel Knieval

Alright, Alright, Alright!
Well, reading that last post and remembering all the hope I was carrying with me that fateful evening has just bummed me out all over again. I'm not actually going to refer to it by name....I'm just going to have a moment of silence for our loss.......................................................

Done. So Our Fishbowl Trailor is officially a trailor of sickness. All my roomates including myself are coming down with, in the midst of, or getting over the super-virus that Jenny carried up with her from GNP. I think it materialized in the over sanitary depths of Peggy's kitchen sink. I am actually into my second round of it... I thought i was over it but Tricia's Bday in combo with my hike the next day in combo with my bro visiting has brought it all back. I have realized that for the last three summers i have been telling myself that this summer is the most unhealthy lifestyle i have ever lived and next summer will be better. I thought living in canmore might get me off the booze a bit but we have way too fun a crew here.

So, Tricia's Bday Bash/ St. Jean Baptisite Day: lets just go over some of the highlights.....
-Jes and I went horseback riding in the mornin' and had steak & eggs cooked for us out in the backcountry..i rode Palm and Jes rode Coyote who was actually kind of a bad horse haha.

-Then i went and got my hair did...like a porn star snap.

-Then it was BBQ Time!.........so, award for drunkest gurl at the BBQ goes to Jes, she literally shot the lights out...........award for the biggest orgy goes to Wapiti Campground next door...there were prob more STD's exchanged over there than stocks on Wall Street.

-award for drunkest gurl at the bar most definately goes to me...i blame JD for visiting he is my Party Kryptonite. Jenny told me i was doing my "Smithson Shuffle" and i enjoyed the impression Thresher did for me the next mornin' of me talking into his cheek...apparently i lose all concept of personal space when i get that ridonkulous.

-the next morning we revived ourselves with greasy breakfast and my bro & friend came in from C-town and we got the bright idea to do Ha-Lings peak. When you are THAT hungover it is NOT fun to climb 700 meters in 2 km. I have never thought i might not finish a hike before... a piece of me seriously died...but after we were done Nacho's & Ceasars at the Sherwood Patio never tasted so sweet. The Following Night was one of my MOST FAVE nights i have ever had at the drake.
Firstly, The One Man Band was there in his spandex shorts. 'Nuff Said
Secondly, honest to god I danced with Evel Knieval....well, a guy on his stag in the coolest evel knieval costume ever to have existed. He rode the stairs down the bar on his stomach, jumped on stage and played the one-man-band's drums, and crowd surfed. He TRIED to ride a long-board down the stairs but security intervened...which wouldve been wicked cool. And then I woke up sick SICK SICK. and that's where I'm at. Im am gearing up for Canada Day long weekend and there are rumours of a toga party...i think perhaps i should invite Rye-Guy & Co to come party?
*-Linny-*

T Minus One Day to the Stanley Cup

Well, Jenny & I are slowly recovering from our night of debauchery last night. It was pretty whirlwind: we booted out of work to calgary to catch the second period of the game @ Rye-Guy's place, Caught the third period at Crush, had a few drinks and then proceeded to go to a shakespearean play...while dressed in oilers capes and tunics with c'boy hats. It was a fine production although i was acutely aware that other people in the audience were catching the shakespearean jokes alot more than i could ever hope. I mostly just tried to laugh on cue whenever jenny did....as far as i know i wasn't found out. We then went straight back to crush where there was a jenny vs. jenny showdown. i have to admit that i was a little nervous having my two seperate jenny universes collide since they are pretty much 2 of my favorite people ever but after the dust had settled and threats of fighting got old they actually bonded over the fact that they both had to look out for me because i am pretty much useless on my own...aww how sweet. I then crashed in Cory's bed and later found out that he is apparently some sort of cuddling prodigy. But i saw none of it.... what a disapointment...as well as we didnt read shark books. Ah Well.

Well, other than that nothing is new, we have spent the last hour in the centre decorating it for "Edmonton Day" tomorrow in honour of my Oil. Surprisingly, Thresher can get pretty creative with paper and a glue stick when it comes to NHL playoffs. I have the day off tomorrow so my plans are to hit the gym early enough to be drinking by noon. Go Oil Go!